Three More Harmful Habits Black Women Are Ditching

#BlackGirlsRock. #BlackGirl Magic, #StrongBlackWoman…phrases and hashtags that have been motivating and affirming for many of us. They can also be detrimental, distorting how the world perceives us and dictating how we perceive ourselves. Actor and activist Jesse Williams said, “Just because we’re magic doesn’t mean we’re not real.” Our pain is real; our struggle is real; our fear is real; we are real. With the new decade, Black women are creating new habits for a happy and healthier future. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary. This boldness might shake up some folks, but we are no longer:

Letting Attainment Define Us

Now is the time to feel joyful and complete. Not once you buy a house, lose weight, get married, have a baby. Should you set goals? Absolutely. But don’t you dare measure your success or worth based on whether you’ve achieved them yet. You’re right now is amazing; you have to realize it. Accomplishing or attaining one more thing will not make you whole; you are already complete. It’s time to live in that. You are enough right now at this moment.

Subscribing to “Black Don’t Crack.”

Maybe your beautiful skin doesn’t crack, but it fades spots and wrinkles. And that is okay. We just have to be okay with it. As we age, our bodies will change, and we will have to find a way to fall in love with it all over again. The best way to do that is to stop comparing ourselves to old photos and celebrities with money, personal trainers, plastic surgeons, and chefs. Nope, you aren’t the same shape as you were at 20, and you shouldn’t be. Melanin is beautiful, but it is not invincible.

Apologizing

We are not apologizing for being whatever kind of black woman we want to be. Too many people have decided that only a certain type of black woman worthy of praise, respect, and honor, and anything outside that description is an embarrassment. Not anymore. Wear your weave, wigs, and natural (or all three in one week), assert yourselves without fear of being called aggressive and angry, be what sexy is to you, be happily single or divorced, twerk, burn sage, go vegan. It’s your life, and you owe yourself to be authentic without fear of judgment or losing your black card. Don’t apologize for being vulnerable, ambitious, or not eating collards greens. The reality is your will be judged no matter what, so at the very least, be judged while standing in your truth.